Short Films: PAYLOAD/THIS WAY THEY CAME/MARTIN

Please check back on 11/16/12 for Jim's feedback on 

the 1st 10 pages of 

INTELLIGENCE GAMES by David S. Jones

Also, if you have access to the Blacklist consider checking 

out frequent Feedback Friday commentor Graeme McPhail 

& Kristoffer McKeown's comedy spec RING OF LIAR

A lifetime bachelor accidentally proposes to his clingy girlfriend then tries to trick her into dumping him to get out of it. When she finds out what is going on, the tables are soon turned.

One reader gave it an 8/10. It is also the last 

remaining Scriptshadow Twit-Pitch finalist to be reviewed. 

How It Works

Email Rob the first ten pages of your feature length screenplay (in pdf. format) along with a logline and title. Every Friday, one of our reviewers (or guests) posts one writer's work along with notes and a:

Rating

Trash It (Start over.)

Take Another Pass (You're onto something, but it needs more work.)

More Please (I'm hooked. What happens next?)

Somebody Shoot This!

Readers then comment on your work.

***If you have access to The Black List consider checking out

Monique Mata's THE TURNING SEASON.***

Also, those of you who follow me on Twitter have probably 

heard me raving about former feedback Friday reviewer Dan 

Dollar's THE BOY AND HIS TIGER.

.@dandollar's #TheBoyAndHisTiger is a truly beautiful, thought provoking and emotionally moving screenplay.
— Robert Dillon (@rdlln) October 12, 2012

It was just recommended by The Tracking Board! You can read all about it here. Congratulations Dan and best of luck with what is sure to be a long and successful career.

I've decided to do things differently for the first Friday of each month; in addition to providing writers an opportunity to visually pitch their screenplays we'll also be featuring short films. 

Here are the pitches and three short films ...

PAYLOAD

In the shadow of a space elevator, Simon Carter must sacrifice everything to save what remains of his family.

With Payload, I set out to make a science fiction film with a soul. At its heart, it is the story of a boy, Simon Carter, who must give up his own soul to save his brother, Dave. I’ve always been fascinated by how “good” people can become “evil” — how our environment and circumstance wields such incredible power over us. Science-fiction, as a genre, is deeply concerned about the world it presents — and, at its best, these worlds are a deep part of the meaning of the film, and becomes characters in themselves. 
- Stuart Willis from payloadfilm.com

Payload from Stu Willis on Vimeo.

THIS WAY THEY CAME

The end of the world as seen through the eyes of an 8 year old boy.
A Film by Cillian Daly

MARTIN

MARTIN from Seán Branigan on Vimeo.