tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7010681457906363141.post8123762032895335154..comments2023-03-28T02:49:12.663-07:00Comments on Feedback Friday: FAMILY TIES by Francesca GajoAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01175985544002285736noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7010681457906363141.post-42901101772555448692013-03-08T14:32:42.557-08:002013-03-08T14:32:42.557-08:00No problem, Francesca! Please keep in touch throug...No problem, Francesca! Please keep in touch throughout the writing process! I want to see the journey these characters go through. Thank you for being open to feedback!<br /><br />Yours,<br />ErmanErmannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7010681457906363141.post-52177220464906626862013-03-08T14:21:23.318-08:002013-03-08T14:21:23.318-08:00Hi Erman! First of all thank you for your precious...Hi Erman! First of all thank you for your precious help and for being so kind about grammar errors. I'm Italian and I do my best writing in English, usually I use proofreading service, but this one is a very early draft and I can't afford a professional service at this stage. I think that your comment about showing more about Jenny's dislike of her town is true, it's too feeble. Even the argument Jenny-Josh needs to be improved, your advice to turn the scene into a climax is illuminating. Every scene should have a proper climax, actually. The wedding and the arrangements are obviously an excuse to explore the members of this family, their relationships and even their secrets. I'll work on it keeping in mind to improve characters description and of course dialogue, which is always the most difficult part for me due to my not-being-mothertongue. I'm pretty bad at writing loglines, I know that. I really find it difficult. But I found out this link which really helped me out and maybe can help other writers: http://www.twoadverbs.com/logline.pdf Feedback is the most important thing for writers, even the bad ones. The only chance to see the flaws and improve your work, so THANK YOU and keep in touch!francynoreply@blogger.com